"Change him, he's not good enough, he will never make it, other kids his age can, he can't catch a ball to save his life, your holding him back, he needs help.." And it goes on and on and can soak up the spirits faster than praises from my own lips. I become soaked and then I wring myself dry. Because I see him. There he comes in my room bright and early with a cup full of coffee proudly presenting it to me as if I had just won an award and I had, he was my award.
Focusing on negativity or pressures only ruins the soul. To stay alive by dwelling on the things that are lovely, true, and good by not conforming to the pressures of the world, is where joy is found. "Let the little children come," Let the little children live, be free, love learning all while being guided by love and wisdom.
With swirling remarks and thoughts of inadequacies running thorough my mind of things he couldn't do during a day I decided to make a list of things I loved about him, things he could do. Focus on them, dwell on them, grow the list, be grateful and thankful for the list that I even have one! There are more and even if there were none love would surely abound, overflowing. Thinking upon, writing the list, it draws the heart out and pushes the negative thoughts back where they belong unseen, invisible, flushed out, no more.
10 things I love about my son
1). He wants to make me proud. He tries his hardest to understand a concept or do something right because he thinks it makes me happy. He longs to please me everyday, to make me proud of him. This one just breaks my heart and I tell him always that I love him and I am proud of him even if he doesn't master everything that comes across his plate. I give him loads of praise and tell him that I am proud of him. I think further down the road this one characteristic of him may pass and so I soak it up for as long as I can.
2). He is willingly helpful. He offers help without having to be asked. He seeks out ways to help me around the house especially in the kitchen and he is proud when he does so rightly. Of course usually the helping gives way to me being restrictive due to possible messes or more work on my part but he is so happy when he sees me smile from his helpfulness. I need to relax and relish the mess.
3). He misses me. Its nice to be needed and its even more wonderful to be missed. He tells me just about every night when I turn out the light that he will miss me and can't wait until morning to see me. This is true when I go anywhere without him its the "Hug and Kiss" and I will be greatly missed.
4). He is artistic. I love this about him! And yes I am sure there are those who see nothing fabulous in his art work and think I make a mountain out of a mole hill but when I see his dedication in his work him sitting there for sometimes long periods of time to draw, paint, or create I love it. I leave out markers and pencils every morning and he would get up early and draw. Not worried about possible stains, lost marker tops, or paper being used up I wanted to see him have what he needed to express his art, be free doing it. I love it because he is passionate.
5).He wants to see the good in everything. Even at a small age he never wanted to watch TV or movies where bad people were depicted winning or dying or anything bad in general. He always wanted the bad people to be good in the end and couldn't understand why anyone would want to be evil and die evil when they could just be good and go to heaven if they believe. Even if they were bad he would always want them to turn good never giving out hope that somehow they would be good in the end. I love this sensitivity in him, his desire to care, his concern.
6). He has a musical ear-Sometimes he can blow me away with what he can musically remember. When he was a young boy he loved classical music and still does humming to himself in perfect pitch a song he heard in his head from a long time ago. I love listening to him sing worship songs, dance, and play the piano.
7). He can build -railroad tracks, legos. Elaborately he builds his rail road track twisting the pieces around, over and under bridges until he comes up with his city scene full of paths that intersect. I am glad I never glued the pieces together back when I first bought his train set when he was three. Needless to say I wasn't happy about all the train track pieces all over the place and I had whined and complained about the mess but he suddenly began building better train tracks then what the directions showed that I decided to let him design his own and he builds different ones all the time.
8). He loves Human Anatomy. This he began learning at a young age and he has still carried the interest with him over the years and he has just astounded me with how much he knows. He was (still is) curious about each tiny detail and how it works and functions that I bought him human anatomy books and models. He knows the organs and there functions much more than I ever did and still do. I love showing him how the Creator made the human body a wonderful, powerful, magnificence. And yes, whenever we need a doctor he is here with his medicine bag to help us get better and he loves going to the doctors office.
9). He recites the Bible to me, from memory. Of course only verses here and there and they are usually right on target with my attitude. At first this irked me that my six year old son was "preaching" to me from the Bible and accurately but then I realized he was right and my attitude was wrong. I could only thank him and praise him for "pointing it out." I love how he prays when I sneak in and see him, memories to hold onto for a lifetime.
10). He is sweet, tenderhearted, curious, and loves God. Yes, he is sweet but he also has a testing nature but he still has such a tender, sweet hearted nature that it overwhelms me and makes my heart melt. If I could only hold onto these sweet moments, remember them forever, and hold them close so that when the testing comes I can remember who he truly is, good, sweet, and a gift from the Lord made in His image. He's not made in the image of evil or badness but made in Gods image! And this sweetness I pray it in him always.