The Light that Outshines

Being a Mom means never being able to sleep in, at least in our home.

There's that rapping, clawing at the door, pushing on its exterior, those soft wails, more pushing as if something or someone too great to ignore lies just outside their reach that they can't grasp.

And when they do break in they make their rounds through the room checking the drawers, surrounding areas as if they are undercover agents trying to find something and they do and it's exciting that pen, magazine, piece of loose paper, old pictures, flashlight, nail file, books.

He has today off and for the only day of the week is home all day. A few hours to myself today even if it includes banging with fists on the door by little hands.

The weekend started off with a bang, rushing kids into their seats, the screech of rubber tires, all because time vanished without me seeing it.

The word "late" applied all weekend.

If only I had opened my eyes a little earlier, gotten ready a little quicker, packed the bags a little faster, planned a little better, the "if only" words, my least favorite.

The weather breathed warmth on Saturday, the sun showing just enough of its light to tempt with a trip to the park. I envied the couple, sitting on the bench, sipping their drinks as their children calmly rode their bikes.

Mine were dangling from ropes, hanging from cliffs, and if there was a stumble or trip that could be found they would find it.

With sighs and sadness that no other kids wanted to chase or play, I offered to be the "it." That word I dread from my mouth every time it escapes.

It  used to be so easy when you were younger, the art of lifting the legs in fast movement.

I could imagine being that young girl again but I could never be her again with that same sure quickness or liteness of leg and heart.

But I could laugh and I did and they did even if it was for a short moment.

Until it bled, his hand, how and on what I wouldn't know.

Crimson red covered his thumb and fingers. With sobs from both of wanting to stay and with watchful eyes following us, we left. There were no bandages, clean tissues, or cloths.

Burdens, sometimes the days moments seem full of a heaviness that will crush, test, and trap the goodness of the spirit. 

The stresses of the day, the work, the schooling, the cleaning, the cooking, and lastly comes you. You strive for happy moments and with it, it brings disappointment.

Sometimes it's as if your the only one on this massive sphere that breaks, crumbles, crashes, and feels helpless. But your not and everyone is.

Cast it off, draw near to the goodness and joy of the day, my reminder!

Bring into light the moments of joy for the light always outshines the darkness.

And the children broke into my room this morning excited to show me their gifts of light....
Zion wanted his picture taken, his favorite plate
Josiah's traceables

His Marble Run

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