I've never been much for mornings.
Before their were kids and early breakfast beggings and the mornings were slow, controlled and routine, he used to always lean in towards me, in an embrace, with a big grin on his face as if he were off to a multi-million dollar high-rise job and whisper, "Good morning."
It would drive me crazy.
Didn't he realize all that had to be done and all that wasn't going right or working?
Secretly it loathed me that he could be surrounded by burdens that needed lifting and problems that needed fixing and still be happy in spite of them all.
He knew something that I didn't know then, that a good morning was a gift and that grace was something that anyone could give and that an embrace could erase all the frustrations and worries with the truth that "everything will be okay."
It took him awhile, but after a few grunts and groans and moans from a mouth that only speaks disapprovals before drinks of coffee, he stopped with his early morning well-wishes.
Instead he fell silent as he left for work with his worn boots and holed pants, his tool belt hanging loosely around his waist as he walked to his rusted stead and plodded away.
After a few years of it, I kind of got to missing it and wondered why I had bitten the hand that tried to feed me what I really needed, spoken words of assurance that it's good because of a good God who gives this joy and the morning and it's all for the taking, waiting to be embraced.
And those words that are once hushed into silence, it takes awhile to get them back, even years. So, I tread lightly. Better a held tongue than a longing down the road for the way things were.
ah, the hard things we learn. Makes me want to lean in and place a hand on a shoulder in comfort and in the knowing. A FMF neighbour
ReplyDeleteThank you, Annette! I'm hoping to find you on FMF!
DeleteIsn't it crazy how the grass really is never greener on the other side? So thankful that this has taught you to mind your tongue and focus on encouraging rather than discouraging! God's lessons for us are abundant and always amazing!
ReplyDeleteMarisa, I'm still trying to learn this, yes. Thankful that God's lessons are never ceasing and always present. Thank you for stopping by!
DeleteJoy in the morning...check out psalm 30:5. It's one of my fave verses.
ReplyDeleteTara, I was thinking of that same exact verse. I just forgot to reference it but, yes it's one of my favorites as well.
DeleteSome lessons come so hard, Bonnie. I've been there; when I'm feeling truly, terribly ill my stock response to 'how are you?' has been, a bright, "Fine!"
ReplyDeleteThat irritated my wife so much, as she could see I WASN'T fine, that she stopped asking...and being asked was surprisingly important to me. I needed to give a positive response to bolster my brittle shell of courage, whilst she needed to offer care in response to an honest answer.
#1 at FMF this week.
http://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com/2017/03/your-dying-spouse-288-being-ok-with.html
Andrew, thank you for your input and advice. I'm learning to live the lessons one day at a time.
DeleteBonnie,there's such truth in your words. I've done those things in response to my husband that later left me wishing I'd seen his intentions through a more accurate filter...that of love.It's taken humility on my part no forgioveness on his to work through some hurts. Thanks for sharing so honestly here.You touched my heart.
ReplyDeleteJeanne, I'm glad you enjoyed the post! Humility is a good word to sumarize my thoughts, thank you.
DeleteWow. Humbled by your openness. Thank you for sharing. There are so many things I wish I could take back over our 22 years of marriage. I've learned that marriage is a two-way street with forgiveness needed on each side daily. I love my husband so much and don't want any regrets when I lay on my death bed. Here's to a new day ... a new way to embrace not only my life but my husband. Thank you for that.
ReplyDeleteMeredith, I completely agree..forgiveness is needed by each side daily and after 12 years of marriage here, I'm still working it all out. You have a beautiful blog! I really enjoyed reading a few posts, lovely.
DeleteThank you for your honest words and for making me think about the irritating things my husband does that do no harm but make up his ritual of affection for me.
ReplyDeleteThank you for visiting and I'm glad you enjoyed it!
DeleteThanks for helping me retrace my own journey of change. Longing for change and then wanting it back. My youngest is all of seven now, but I miss those little, little toes. My oldest is 18, and I have two in the middle. I don't really want my kids to grow up fast, but some days I want some me time. Embracing the blessing of the moment is easy to miss. Your words remind me to give thanks. Thanks for what is, and a reminder to give thanks for what will be.
ReplyDeleteCheryl, I'm glad you liked the post. I'm learning to give glory to God for whats right in front of me. To be content in the here and now. Thank you for your encouraging words.
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