I do and lately there have been a little too many of them..these "trash" days.
There's no better word for putting it at least in my book.
All this complaining, expectations lost, grumbling, self pity, worry, feelings of failure, wonder, anxiety, and the list goes on.
Everywhere I turn I read of giving thanks, finding joy etc it will cure all of it and sometimes I want to throw it out the window all these quotes, niceties, and just give it this thanks and its so easy..and I am thinking..right..if only.
Yes, its written I see it but I'm still working on Love I can't give thanks if I don't Love to give.
And its easy to give thanks when you have things to be thankful for but its hard when you feel like "trash" and you don't have anything and the days go by in wonder and mystery.
Yes, I have my wonderful children, husband, health and yes, I am thankful ten fold for them over and over again but this other "thanks" I could out speak it with complaining and all my wants, wishes and should have beens.
It can swallow you up and consume you this nature of it isn't fair, everyone else has it and I don't, and what about me? Yes, I am acting like a spoiled child but humbly and honestly.
So I'm on this quest to stop. Stop my complaining and moaning for I could out wail a dog and just go with it and fly with this resting peace that comes but fades each time I open my mouth.
I don't want to be "trash" I want to be His treasure and his treasure.
For anothers person's trash is anothers persons treasure and even the little him sees it and still loves it this "trash."
He holds it high and lofty, parades it down the streets, around the corner; he's proud of his trash even though busy onlookers brush past, zoom by with stares.
But he doesn't see it and keeps on loving this trash day after day.
To him its not trash but worth something much more than that for it gives his heart gladness and joy.
It may look like trash as I feel I look but to him, its not, I pray its not that I'm his treasure.
He find this trash thats been tossed aside, thrown out to rot, and he loves it.
I'm reminded of God and how He parades us, His children whom He loves, and shelters, and died for, unashamedly.
I may see myself as "trash" but God sees me as His beauty and He only sees me not my possessions, my surroundings, but me purely me.
The "joy set before Him," the reason He endured the cross, the reason He spoke and life entered for me, us..we are His greatest joy.
Finding joy in Him and in myself and in my family, Loving to give and learning to thank, regardless of circumstances..hard..but this treasure.
And He loves this "trash" and forgives and forgets and builds and His Spirit comes alive in its awakening unravel.
We are His greatest treasure, the joy set before Him. And yes I give thanks for this love.