Early in the morning, sometimes before the morning breaks light and the doors creak open to reveal the sounds of shifting feet, faces appear inches from mine and I breathe.
Eyes are tired and bones are still tightened yet to have been unfolded and stretched. I sigh. Another day, another round, another "go at it" as my oldest would say.
The worn hand becomes grasped, tugged, and pulled and ideals of early mornings before wakings never happen and sometimes the heart can sink because there seems to be never any me.
Early year resolutions flutter away as days are scratched off calenders and it always seems to be everybody has something or wants something and you nod the head, willing to be their need.
It reminds me of how God gives days so that we could see our need for Him and His need for us.
Resolutions to write everyday have fallen by the wayside instead I find myself exhausted, sitting at the computer in the black of night wishing to have the strength to do what thousands of women do multiple times a day. How do they find time and I can't?
Maybe instead of resolution there's refinement? Small steps towards something that I can't really see, more of becoming, more of molding, more of His image, and less of resolution?
Today's keys didn't get pecked hundreds of times but there was laughter, soft silly giggles, bills paid, lunches made, the floor swept, potty training, dancing, lessons taught, laughter with a sister, and the list goes on.
People, faces, little ones, those who need helpful, guiding hands, the hurted, the pained, the hopeless, the forgiven, the joyful, the blessed, this is what life and heaven and eternity will be, a family.
So, yes, if all there is in a day is a whisper of "holy, holy, holy" then the day has been done and I have been refined in small steps and tomorrow is another "go at it" and I get to, whatever it may be, whatever it may hold, I get to.
I get to have another "go at it" whatever it is "I get to do it." Yes, God gracefully, mercifully, wonderfully, gives days and while they are here my song shall rise to thee as I am now.
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